She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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