you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
