You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
