i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
