You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
