No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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