we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
