u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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