Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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