we're blogging at a bar
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
