Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
