She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
