he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
