We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
