i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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