What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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