So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize