if you like me you must not know who I am
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
