Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize