I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
