Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
