Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
