after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
