Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
