One girl and one boy is just not enough.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
