i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
