He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
