haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
