Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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