some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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