Your mouth is God's brothel.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The uberlube is also flammable
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
