Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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