Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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