hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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