Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
