I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
