You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i think i have herpe
just one?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
