If that was your dad, he is hot
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
