Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
