If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.