Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"