just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.