at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG