would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.