So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.