So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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