Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
