somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
