hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
