Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
