You're a womanizer and a bitch.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
