Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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