Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
