I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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