bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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