Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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