everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
