i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
