omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
