she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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