and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
