We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
