so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
