I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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