So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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