you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
