God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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