Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
