A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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