it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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