Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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