I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
